The Lord has promised good to me...

March 22?! How are we nearly to the end of March?  It's been an eventful month for me, and I kind of fell off the grid for a little while.  Sorry about that.  There is good reason though, which I will explain below.  I'll try to keep it short, but make no promises :).

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I had a great time with my family here at Christmas. When we found out at the end of January that my mom still had cancer, I wished I could go back and value our time together even more.  At that same time, I also began taking on more little tasks here at the home - tutoring these kids and tutoring those kids.  I became much busier than I was used to, and was growing more tired and weary.

Mid-February, I began to feel very homesick.  So much so that one morning I actually looked up prices for plane tickets home.  I hoped to find them high so I would just stop thinking about it.  But, instead, I found a lot of tickets for only $400.  Four hundred!  I've never, ever seen them that low.

But as I saw the prices, I didn't feel a surge of joy.  It was almost like a calm came over my heart that it wasn't the right choice at that time.  I couldn't figure it out, actually.  I was left with a feeling that it was right and good to stay here in Oaxaca, but with a nagging fear that I was missing out on a valuable chance to spend time with my family.

I continued to feel rather melancholy, but the staff devotions that same morning really spoke to me.  The housemother for the little boys spoke of Saul and how he made his own sacrifice, thinking he could help God, when he really should have waited. Just waited.  I really wanted to do something, but it seemed like a time when I was supposed to just wait as well.  Wait and pray.

March came and my mom's surgery date approached - a Friday.  The Sunday before her surgery, I turned to the new chapter in my devotional book.  The theme for the third week of lent was vulnerability.  And with the psalm prayer that morning, I was quickly stripped to my most vulnerable fear - of losing my mom.

It was a fear that had been cropping up ever since that day that I really wanted to take a trip home and found such ridiculously low prices.  The thing was, I wasn't afraid that God wasn't in control.  I had complete confidence that His will would be done.  Only, I was afraid that God's will might be something I didn't like and wouldn't be able to handle.

At one moment that Sunday morning, when the fear and worry threatened to overwhelm me, I went outside to hang up my laundry.  I looked around, the mountains drawing my attention.  Where does my help come from?  The LORD.  Maker of heaven and earth.  It was a blessed reminder and I felt a measure of peace - but still, I anticipated a long, hard week ahead of me.

Monday did not disappoint, as I struggled with a lack of patience at school.  I felt very tired at every turn.  Instead of getting angry, I just wanted to give up.  I knew I wasn't doing well.  Tuesday morning, I poured my heart and worries out before the Lord and I sensed the response was, "Be still.  Seek first my kingdom. Let Me be your peace."  I felt a great calm come over me.

As I walked to school that day, an idea sparked in my mind of going to Colorado to be there for my mom's surgery that weekend.  During our morning meeting, I shared with the teachers about what a hard time I was having, and asked them to be praying for me.

As I went on to teach my English classes, my worries fell away and I felt so much better.  Then, at lunch, Jill (our administrator) suggested to me that I go home for my mom's surgery.  I felt great peace about the idea and it seemed to be a confirmation of my thoughts from that morning, so I headed right back to my room to look for tickets.  And I bought one.  For $400! :)

I got to spend some time with my mom before her surgery.  I passed time with my dad and uncle in the waiting room during her surgery.  The next few days, I was able to sit with my mom in her hospital room, hopefully as a quiet and comforting presence.  I also was able to serve her and care for her when she got home. (My main love language is acts of service, so, bonus for me).

It was a completely wonderful time and I am so grateful and feel so blessed.  God is so faithful and good.  I don't know why I doubt it sometimes.

I trust in [his] unfailing love... I will sing the Lord’s praise, 

for he has been good to me. (Ps. 13:5-6) 

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Return to your rest, my soul, 

for the Lord has been good to you. (Ps. 116:7)

Helping this believer to think

Well, the United States has lept forward this weekend with its spring time change, but here in Mexico we don't make the leap until the first Sunday in April.  My sister is now an hour ahead of me in Chicago, and she has promised to let me know what the future is like :).

This also means that, for a month, I can no longer listen to Ravi Zacharias on the radio as I get ready in the mornings.  For those who don't know, Ravi Zacharias is a great Christian apologist, whose catchphrase is "Helping the thinker to believe, and the believer to think."

But thankfully I can still get my Ravi fix via YouTube, and that is where I heard the following quote from Nabeel Qureshi, a Muslim scholar who became a believer in Christ and Christian apologist as well:

The Christian message is the ultimate embodiment of self-sacrifice.  Jesus is not some God who tells you “Jump through these hoops in order to make me happy when you’re dead.”  That is not the Gospel message.  The Gospel message is that God who loved us from before the creation of this world, saw that we would destroy ourselves, and so He allowed himself to be destroyed, at our hands, for our sake.  Self-sacrifice, so that we could be with him. So that we could live in eternal bliss forever glorifying God.  He would rescue us, though we spat in His face.  He gave us hands to work with, and we used them to sin against him.  He gave us feet to walk on, and we used them to walk away from him.  And instead of taking those things back, He gave us his Son.

I especially like to reflect on that quote as we draw nearer to Good Friday and Easter.  I don't think I can add much to what was stated there, so I won't try.  If you would like to listen to the full message, I'll post it below.

Beauty of Creation

Today I drove the teachers into the city to buy needed school supplies.  Our first stop was ice-cream on the zocalo - sorry, no photographic evidence of us enjoying a cool treat together :).  Then we split up to make our purchases, and met back on the corner behind the cathedral.  After a quick stop at a supermarket for a few more items, we headed back home.

As I drove, I was treated to a stunning sunset.  One of those that pictures could never do justice to.  The sharp, golden shadows on the mountains, while the dark clouds hovered above them, making them seem taller than usual.  I tried my best not to be distracted, especially since my passengers fell asleep for most of the ride.

But once we got home and I parked the car, I was able to hop out and take this picture as the sun made its final descent.  The beauty of God's creation here is so abundant and amazing.

Behavior Problems?

Today these boys had to stay in for recess and work because of behavior issues yesterday. But when I told them they were finished, they kept on working for five more minutes. 

 

When kids have detention, I allow them to bring homework to work on.  There have been occassions when, after finishing their homework, they pull out their Bible to look for certain verses.

 

Sometimes these kids are just too sweet. ...Sometimes. ;)