Community living

As I leave my house to empty my mop bucket, my new neighbor is sweeping on the stairs.  I say, "Oh, it's cleaning day for both of us."  He informs me that I cannot go downstairs yet (presumably because he is working there).  Not wanting to hold the heavy bucket longer than necessary, I say I'll go by quickly, and skirt past him before he can react.

After washing my mop at the faucet below, I begin to gather my blankets left on the laundry line from yesterday.  Behind me I hear him say, "Sobrina" (niece).  I answer him, "Vecino" (neighbor).  He corrects himself and says, "Neighbor, it's going to rain."  I respond, "Yes, that's why I'm taking down my blankets.  ...Thanks for letting me know."

As we both go back up the stairs, I mention that he has done a good job sweeping.  I point out that it is already raining on the mountain across the valley.  We both look at it and then go our separate ways.  My new neighbor is about 4 years old.  Yesterday he was shooting me in the backside with his toy gun as I walked with him to the dining hall.  I much prefer today's more subdued interaction. 😉

Ah, community living. 😊

Movie night

"I'm in the bathroom!  You can come in!"  I wasn't sure if I'd have time to eat dinner before the teenage girls came over for our Friday night movie, but I managed to get something down quick.  Then I realized I needed to use the bathroom.  Was there time?  Never know until you try ;).  Turns out this time it was a no.

As I wash my hands, I hear them coming into my apartment and beginning to move furniture to make the space more accommodating to the 11 of them (12 including their housemother who has begun to join us as well).  I come out to find a few of the girls lounging in their choice spots, and I joke about us not making any dessert that evening, since they appeared to be too comfortable to help.

Eventually they get up and we begin the task of making a double batch of brownies.  As more girls come in, we vote on whether to mix in pecans or have them on top.  It is a tie.  We go with on top, since we mixed them in last time.

More girls burst onto the scene, several of them asking me if John wouldn't have been beheaded if Herod hadn't been drunk.  It takes me a second to catch up, and I wonder who gave their devotional tonight and what they talked about.

I tell them only God knows what would've happened, but Herod did already have John imprisoned, so it wasn't looking great for him.  Another girl pointed out that the reason Herod hadn't killed John yet was because the people were against it.  I mention too that being drunk certainly didn't help Herod make good decisions.

Questions then quickly turn to the photos on my wall and where I took them.  One girl tells me she can't help with the brownies because she cut her finger.  But that happened weeks ago... I ask to see her finger and it is still bent down where the cut was.  I'm no doctor, but I tell her if she doesn't start stretching it and using it soon, it may stay like that.  Later I hear her shout, as the girls try to help her extend it further...

I give them the option of choosing between three movies, and they go with the serious Holocaust drama.  I make sure they understand the time period the movie will take place in and that the movie will be sad, probably even make them cry.  They seem ok with that and I hit play, making sure the audio is in Spanish.

We pause the movie a few times so I can explain some things, and once more so they can come get the brownies that I've dished up for them.  I carefully spoon out the last of my ice-cream over their brownies, managing to measure it correctly so everyone gets a fairly even amount.

One girl has decided that brownies make her break out, so she has chosen not to eat brownies with us for the past few months - I give her extra ice cream instead.  But today she asks permission to have some brownies.  I tell her that is entirely up to her and she takes a small piece.  We'll see how that works out for her.

Another girl, who simply doesn't like brownies, has had a bad cough for a few weeks, so I make her a hot "throat coat" tea instead.  I put way too much honey in it, but she seems to enjoy it anyway.  Later I make her a hot apple cider from the packets I'm thankful to have found at Walmart.

The young woman who has been through the most in her hard life is the one who catches on more quickly to everything that is happening in the movie, making comments reflecting how she thinks people are behaving and turning to me to confirm suspicions she has about what will happen next.  At the saddest point she turns to me and says she feels like crying.  I already am :).  It is odd to think that just a few weeks ago we were all watching the new version of Aladdin together.

As the movie finishes, one of the girls says that I was right, that it did make her cry.  They fold up the blankets and put them away, and each give me a hug as they leave.  It has begun to rain, and they make a ton of noise as they go out into the night.  Hopefully the neighbors are feeling understanding :).

A week in the life

When I locked myself out of my house and office, both in the same day, I began counting things that were happening. Here's a list of some things I've counted this week 

How many times did I lock myself out this week? Three 
How many times did I see a shooting star? One 
How many times did I sneak out of church to talk to the leadership team? Two ️
How many earthquakes did I feel? One (5.6 Magnitude at 5:13am) 
How many loads of laundry did I do? Four (not all my own) 
How many dishes did my dish team wash? Too many 
How many podcasts did I listen too? Ten-ish... 
How many times did I make it off the property? One 
How many times did I work out? Two 
How many times was I invited to eat at a different table? One - with the little girls 
How many maintenance reports were turned in to me? A dozen 
How many monthly reports did I translate? Three 
How many people visited my apartment? About thirty 
How many days did I listen to Christmas music? All the days 

 How has your first week of October gone, numerically speaking? 

The Plan - Part 2

When we accepted eight teenage children all at once, I had serious doubts about how this would turn out for the children's home.  But along with that, came the conviction/reminder that perhaps God was bringing these young people here as part of his plan for them to hear about Him and his message of love and salvation for them.  No matter how long they stayed (we had agreed on a one month trial period), it became my hope that their experience here would help them move closer to their knowledge and understanding of God's truth and plan for their lives - that it would plant a seed that they would remember at some point in the future.

It is now three months later, and two of the eight kids still remain (the others have been returned to the care of a family member).  One of the young men has become amazingly outgoing in the things of God.  He is quick to read scripture with confidence and conviction  in the congregation.  He is kind and thoughtful towards others, and does the tasks asked of him with a positive attitude.  As I observe him, I smile to think that surely he is the reason why we were asked to take in these kids.  The Word seems to be being planted like a seed in the good soil of his heart.

The other boy is... a different story.  I also thought about him this week, as a staff member told me how he breaks the rules, mocks others, has a bad attitude about the chores assigned to him, and tells us he needs things beyond the abundant generosity already shown to him.  I want to be certain we try to teach him a different way, before these smaller issues grow into bigger issues.  But the difference between the two boys stood out to me starkly, and I wondered how much longer the second young man will last here.

However, it wasn't long before I was corrected in that way of thinking, for who can truly know the heart of man beyond God?  We look at the outward things, but God looks at the heart.  Often the outward things are signs of what is on the inside, but many times they are not.  And so I remind myself not to count chickens before they're hatched, and to have equal hope for both of these boys - and for the others as well.  Wherever life has taken them, may God meet them there.

May all of us begin to see ourselves and others more like God sees us and less like the world sees.

The Plan - Part 1

It was July.  I had spent a month preparing the children's home for my summer absence (tonsillectomy).  There were people lined up to cover me, from tasks like my weekly dish duty to major unforeseen crises.

Then we got a phone call.  Another children's home was dealing with a very serious situation, and they needed to immediately get eight of their teenagers to a safer place.  Teenagers.

We hardly ever accept teenagers because of their inability to adapt to our way of life here.  They have learned their own way to survive in this harsh world.  It is incredibly hard to unlearn that and, more often than not, they end up endangering the children who already make their home here.

I wanted to say no, we couldn't take them in.  It was too chancy, especially when I wouldn't be around to help ...help with what? I'm not sure.  Stability?  But in talking with the leadership team, it became clear that our answer should and would be yes.  Yes, we would take in these eight new teenagers, all at once, as soon as possible.

I'd like to be able to tell you that when we made that decision, peace came over me.  But it did not, instead it was panic.  My carefully laid plans were beginning to quake under a new weight.  For the first time in my life, I found it difficult to keep breathing because worry had robbed me of that gift we take so for granted.

After bracing myself against the wall for a moment, I did manage to take a deep breath and keep breathing.  I finished up what I was doing in the empty office, gathered my things, and began my walk home in the evening light.  And what a glorious evening it was.  The rays of sunshine breaking through the clouds to the west made for one of the most beautiful sunsets I have seen in my life.

As I stopped in my tracks in awe, the thought was impressed upon me as if from God, "Is there anything too difficult for Me?"  All my worries fell away, as I remembered that the one in power is God, not me.  I was humbled and ashamed to realize that I was thinking that I needed to control everything - when really, the entire time, whether I am present or not, it is God who is in control.  It is He who provides and protects.  It is He who guides and directs, and walks alongside us in this place.

And there, my friends, is where the peace flooded in.  When I let go of the thing I didn't even realize I'd been holding on so tightly too.  Matthew 6:25-34 comes to mind - a portion of scripture that has convicted and guided me from the time I was an adolescent and began to let the worries of this world govern my heart, mind, and even body.  It has been, and continues to be, a process of letting go of my sometimes feeble, sometimes valiant attempts to control this life.  But lately I have been able to find much greater freedom as I release this need to control things, and I rejoice in that.

Urgent Care

The teenager came in with a cautious smile on his face.  But I was so happy to see him, I jumped up and asked him if I could give him a hug.  It was a little awkward, but such a blessing.

In recent weeks I'd been making a point of saying hi to this kid when we crossed paths, but didn't get much reaction out of him - teenage boys, am I right?  But yesterday I got a phone call from one of the houseparents, telling me that he was going to the school because this young man had fallen and hit his head.  A short time later, I found out that he'd actually suffered a pretty severe seizure, and they were taking him to the hospital in an ambulance.

We prayed in the office, or rather, I made the accountant lead us in prayer, because I was close to really having a good cry.  A note was sent out to our message group, and others joined us in prayer.  I got updates from the housefather on where they were, and the boy's status - along with photos of him strapped to the gourney and then in a peaceful, medically-induced sleep in the hospital bed..  I agreed with the housefather that he should stay overnight with him in the hospital, and arranged people to cover the staff member's absence.

Today, the housefather came into my office with a copy of the hospital report and his CT scan.  I had him write an incident report for our files and, as I heard more of the story, I greatly lamented the lack of training the school staff had for events such as these.  But thankfully the young man got the ok from the doctors to resume his regular activities, with a follow up appointment in a month to look again into what is going on.

So as today drew to a close, this kid surprised me by coming into my office.  He still had a neck brace on and I was cautious to hug him, but he gave me a strong hug back.  I was so thankful.

As he left my office, I remembered being the elementary school principal of this little boy, struggling with his behavior issues and delighting in his new achievements.  I remembered how as a pre-teen, in a moment of anger, he destroyed $10,000 pesos worth of property, and had to work to pay it back (though there came a point when the debt just had to be forgiven, ~$700 dollars is a mighty big bill for a child living in a children's home to pay off - but thankfully he did grow through the experience).  I remembered how recently, as a teenager, one of the girls (with a history of lying) was accusing him of something very serious, and how he came in to my office, desperate for me to know and believe the truth about him.  It has been a long journey with this young man.

My prayer for him is the same as my prayer for all the kids living here - may God continue to protect them and bring them full healing.  May He bring to completion the purposes He has for their lives.  And may they grow into men and women of God who establish His kingdom in love and restoration.

I'm not sure I understand...

"You're giving this to me? For free?"

Why was I questioning this kind woman in a village shop? It wasn't because I didn't think she was generous.  In fact, due to a relationship established with her by another staff member from the home, this wasn't the first time she'd tossed in a free item with my purchase.

But lately I seem plagued with misunderstandings, and have found that more often than not I need to restate what I think I'm hearing, just to be sure I am clear about what is happening.

I found the sermon by Robert Madu on the blind man of Bethsaida to be very profound in this regard.  Jesus brought the blind man outside of the city, spit in his eyes, and asked the man if he saw anything.  This was weird for Jesus, as we have no other record of him checking in to see if his healing touch was working.  And that it hadn't worked completely was odd too - was his power running out?

Robert Madu suggests that this was not, as some determine, something that shows the blind man's lack of faith.  Instead, Robert puts forth the idea that this was a purposeful test of the man's honesty.  Would he be honest with Jesus about his blurry condition?

We, as Christians in particular, don't want to admit when things are not clear.  We feel like we have to act like we can see clearly.  But if the blind man had answered, "Yeah, I'm good, I'm good... it's better than it was before," he never would have received the clarity he sought.

Robert Madu goes on to propose that blurry is a blessing.  It is a blessing because, when things are blurry, it makes us lean in to try to see better.  Lean in toward God.  Our blurry makes us pray, it makes us seek Him, it makes us raise our hands and say "God, only You know."

This helps me take courage in my current leadership role, tackling communication with those around me in a different language and culture in a way that exposes my vulnerability, but also helps me avoid some unnecessary misunderstandings.  

And it also helps me feel peace in my "faith walk," as, for a while now, I've felt blurry on a few things.  I have been quite honest with God about this blurriness, and have found beautiful freedom in trusting in Him as I wait for Him to make my vision more clear.

New nieghbors

I've been told the huge men's prison across the highway is finally up and running.  As I open my curtains in the early morning hours, and see lights finally illuminating the distant guard tower, it seems to be true.  What does that mean for us? 

It means we really need to lower our well, as there will now be thousands more people drawing water from the aquifer that feeds this valley. 

It means I am extra thankful that our gate finally shuts again, as there will be more people moving into the surrounding community to visit and care for their incarcerated family members. 

It also means that a chance for greater ministry is now just across the street from us.  Are we ready?  Will we answer the need that has moved into the neighborhood?

What opportunity for ministry is at your doorstep? How have we been prepared for this moment? How will we respond?

"Parental Guidance"...

The man in the movie was completely naked from behind, and I was surprised that not a single one of the teenage girls was snickering or giggling, like they tend to do at inappropriate times.  But we had also prepared for this moment, and thankfully it was apparently paying off.

The movie was Spartacus (2004), and before hitting play, I told them that this was a much more violent movie than I usually watch with them.  But, I explained, it was violence not intended simply for entertainment, but to show historical realities.  I let them know that there would be a naked man in the movie - and unlike many movies when that is meant to be a humorous moment, this was meant to show a deeply shameful moment in this man's life.

And perhaps the preparation had begun even before I realized, as I have been watching movies and tv shows with them every Friday night for years now.  I have often been shocked and concerned about the things they find funny - some very serious and sad moments are often interrupted by bursts of laughter I don't understand.  Maybe it's a difference in culture.  Maybe it's that they've already been through so much hardships in their short lives that humor is a defense mechanism at seeing yet more pain in this world.

But, as I said, in this moment, remarkably no one made a sound.  I had also stopped the movie just before this scene, to explain why the Roman woman wanted to see the Jewish man naked - how she couldn't understand the practice of circumcision.  That also led to an unexpected conversation of me needing to explain (in Spanish) what circumcision is.  One can never know what a day has in store, I suppose :).

One of my main hopes in showing them this movie was that they would have a better idea of what the world was like just before Jesus was born into it.  Perhaps now, when they hear a sermon, they will be able to better picture what things were like in those times.  Maybe they will understand more about how crucifixion was a very cruel and fairly common Roman way of punishing people (and what a surprise it must've been that someone who had been crucified came back to life!).

So, this morning, as I think about the events of last night, I pray that they will continue to reflect on them as well.  That this will somehow help forward them in their faith.  Not all the movies we watch have been or will be super meaningful.  But even then, we will hopefully be strengthening our relationships with one another, as they learn from me and I learn a lot from them as well.

Cultural Differences

We sat together to read the email. 

The businessman, who had said he would get back to us that very same day when we talked to him two weeks ago, took a week to answer us back. In his answer he demanded an immediate reply from us - something we simply weren't able to do. 

Now we were reading a second email from him, in which he told us the offer was over and we really had to be better about getting back to him. I did not like that, and I told my coworker so.   He can't take so long to get back to us and then expect us to jump right when he says jump, right?   

She explained to me that that's just the way things are here. That's the way people like that treat you.

I still do not like it.   As a an American coming from "the customer is always right" culture, it just doesn't seem fair.  

In an vain attempt to control his respect of us, I made sure her spelling was correct and her punctuation was in place, as she replied to him much more graciously than I would've. 

And now what will be like when we go and talk to him? Will I be able to act Mexican? Or will my American culture come through? 

Then this morning I realized that it shouldn't be a matter of acting Mexican or American, but of acting like Christ.  I know this is not the first time I've thought of that, but it's easy to forget when it comes right down to it.

What will that look like today when we're there?  I'm not sure yet.  We shall see how it goes. :)

May we have more and more grace and peace through the knowledge of God and Jesus our Lord. 
2 Peter 1:2

Light of the world

We've had quite a few power outages lately.  The second to last one was a "grey out" - some people had light, others didn't, and a few just had very weak power.  I found myself in the latter category.  My neighbors below me had full power, and it surprised them to learn that I couldn't put the football game on the cable signal we share.  For them the electricity was fine, but up here it just wouldn't stay on and I finally unplugged the box completely.

It took the power company over 12 hours to respond - which meant we were without power and water overnight.  I left my curtains open all evening to try to make use of the final bits of light left in the sky as the sun finally ducked under the horizon.  Then, as it became more apparent that we wouldn't be getting our power back anytime soon, I pulled candles out of my closet - sharing a few with the teenage girls' house that was without power as well.

I had a small amount of illumination from the overhead lights in my kitchen, and I briefly considered closing my curtains.  Would that help keep the light in and make the room brighter?  I quickly realized that that's not how light works.  Reflecting it might help the situation, but containing it doesn't make it brighter.  Trying to contain the light within my apartment would not make it any brighter, it would just make the outside world darker.

What a simple concept, one I'm sure others have expounded on at length.  But it was a moment of illumination (haha - no pun intended) for me.  Hiding our lights under a basket (Mt 5:14-17) not only deprives the world of your light, but also does nothing to make the light brighter for yourself.  We must let our light shine before others.

This also reminds me of the bright stars from my previous blog post (Darkness and dawns) - how I've observed that is when the darkness is deep that the stars stand out so clearly.  When I am in that darkness before the dawn, maybe I should look around for those points of light that remind me to hope that the light continues to shine brightly, even though its warmth seems so long in coming.

And, in these days when the world seems to be a darker place than usual, maybe we are to be those points of light for other people to see and take hope in.  As the world seems to get darker, may we continue to shine brightly - not fearing the darkness, but faithfully shining on.  And, like the rural night sky full of stars, may it be amazing to look around and see how many of us there are.

A closing thought, one I never pay much mind to - but actually, when the sun is in our sky, the other stars are still up there too, shining on.  We just usually can't see them due to the brilliance of the great light.  How wonderful that when God's light shines in its blinding brilliance, our lights will continue to shine too, but they will be nothing in comparison to his great light.

“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven." Matthew 5:14-17

Darkness and dawns

Is it truly darkest before the dawn?  Or is it just one more platitude, made up to try to get us through hard times?  I never gave it much thought until I lived here in rural southern Mexico and observed the sky at night.  When I find myself walking home at night, I sometimes pause in awe at the twinkling of the stars.  We grow up hearing about how stars twinkle, but I had never seen such an amazing display of rapid-fire colors in the sky until I moved here.

However, there is something that stops me in my tracks, and that is the innumerable amount of stars in the predawn hours. There are so many of them!  It is challenging to even make out major constellations among the many other brilliant points of light.  It seems to me that if I could hardly see any stars when I lived in a big city like Chicago due to all the light pollution, the sky truly must be darker at the times when I can see more stars.

Just after I had my super-challenging week (Every valley), I was stepping outside early one morning to start some laundry when a shooting star caught my eye.  And then another fell, and another - about every minute or two.  I stood there for ten minutes in absolute wonder at whatever meteorological event I was witnessing.  The highlight was when one streak of light broke into pieces to produce two trails side-by-side before disappearing.

Dawn was about an hour away, but the dark night that allowed the brilliant stars to be seen reminded me of what a hard week I had just been through - and how amazing of a week I was currently having.  Things were going so well, from planned events turning out better than ever expected to long shots receiving prompter positive results than I'd allowed myself to hope for.  It appeared that things can seem to be at their worst just before they are about to improve.

So, despite how trite old adages can seem in the midst hard times, I think it must be true that it is darkest just before the dawn.  But even though the moment just before dawn is the longest we will go without the light, we must continue to hold on to hope that the darkness is not forever.  The light is coming.

Photo from @Quadratinoaxaca of Hierve el Agua in Oaxaca.

"You brought all things into being and know the secrets of the furthest galaxies as well as those within the hidden universe of the human heart.  May we always hope in your faithful love, which surrounds us all our days.  Amen"

- from A Guide to Prayer for All Who Walk with God.

Every valley

It was Sunday night, and I had gone over to a friend's house to listen to an Advent sermon.  I poured myself some tea from the steaming kettle, and sat down at the table to watch the live-stream.  But right then I somehow knocked the mug on the table directly towards myself to receive a boiling hot dousing right in my lap.

Thankfully I was able to rush to the bathroom and hop into a cold stream of water in the shower before I was burned too badly.  Wrapped in a towel borrowed from the hall closet, I tried to continue on with the evening, undeterred.  But it was so strange an occurrence, and I couldn't work out in my mind how exactly it had happened - it was almost as if something was trying to get me down.

As the week progressed, it seemed to turn into a series of really big challenges designed to trip me up.  Come Thursday morning, I felt so weighed down.  Maybe it was some slight depression, maybe it was some spiritual warfare, but I couldn't seem to pull out of the negative thoughts I was dwelling on and the dread I had for some hard conversations yet to be had that week.

When I went outside for breakfast, I was surprised by a glorious sunrise. It made me smile because it felt like an encouragement from God.  And when I turned the corner to go to breakfast, there I saw a brilliant rainbow - which couldn't seem any more like a glorious gift from God.

Lots of people think the story ends there and it seems like it should.  I felt clearly that God had put hope in front of me - and yet, while those gifts registered in my mind, they had trouble sinking into my heart. It still felt burdened.

I got to breakfast in the dining hall, and I found I couldn't eat it because of my food allergies, so I walked back to my house to hang laundry on the line. I had planned on doing two loads, but someone else had taken my clothes out and started a load of their own. As I hung up my wet laundry piece by piece, I gave in to the disappointments and allowed the tears to come. 

Wanting to pull out of these continued negative thoughts, I decided to play some Christian music on my phone as I worked, to change my focus.  When I finished that task, I went to my house and climbed onto bed and cried more there. I'm very thankful that the message of the music eventually got through to me and my spirit began to feel lighter. The weight was lifted and I felt a calm come.  I was able to go on with my day and I even had a tough conversation right away that I had been dreading.  And it went really well!  So that was a huge boost too.

That very morning I had listened to a sermon about spiritual intelligence and renewing our minds.  The pastor mentioned that if the way to the new way of thinking is like a narrow footpath, the old way is like a six lane highway.  We will naturally take the easier way.  And honestly, it was easier for me to hold onto the control of hurt and worry, rather than to let go and allow hope and joy back in.  But it was so much better once I finally did.

That brought new meaning to my understanding of Isaiah 40 that morning:

In the wilderness prepare the way of the LORD, make straight in the desert a highway for our God.  Every valley shall be lifted up, and every mountain and hill be made low; the uneven ground shall become level, and the rough places a plain.  Then the glory of the LORD shall be revealed, and all the people shall see it together, for the mouth of the LORD has spoken.

May I continue to prepare the way of the LORD within me, may there be a straight highway and level place for my God.  Then the glory of the LORD shall be revealed.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Mt. 11:28-30

Leadings and changes

It was during the brief window of time in the afternoon when I am alone in the office, that one of the teenage girls came in, looking for the director of the home.  When I told her she was out, the girl asked if she could speak to me about something.  When people say they need to talk to me, it can mean anything from the very mundane things I don't really need to be a part of to the major things that set my world off-kilter for a while.  Lowering the screen of my computer and bracing myself, I said sure.

As she took a seat, she asked me, "Miss Laura, how do you know when God is speaking to you?"  Wow, well then... After raising my eyebrows in surprise, I paused a moment to gather my thoughts.  Interestingly, I had just listened to a podcast in which a pastor went over important points of what it meant to be Spirit led.  I managed to remember about half of them as I fumbled my way through my side of the conversation.

Then I questioned why she was asking.  She shared that, through messages from various pastors and leaders, she had sensed on three separate occasions that God was calling her to return to her family, to help take care of them.  She has not been without some major issues here at the home, and her family situation is not a real positive one either.  I commended her for being alert to how God might be leading her, and encouraged her to continue the conversation with the director of the home as well.

In the end, she decided to follow how she felt she was being led, and left the home in December to live with her family again.  She is not the only child who left the home at the end of the year.  One young man who has been praying for his mother to be released from prison was finally able to happily rejoin his family after her recent release.  And a single father, who had his three young children here at the home for years, has finally found enough stability in his life to have them rejoin him as well.

It is beautiful and a little frightening to see the children be able to return to their families.  Beautiful because God created families and designed us to live in them.  Frightening because we are no longer "in control" of their safety, their education, helping them towards and in their walk with God.  But recently I heard Craig Groschel share that, as a leader, you can have control or you can have growth - you cannot have both.  I think that can apply here as well, as we pray for growth for these kids and their families, knowing that God is faithful to complete the work He has begun in each of us.

If you are interested in the six points of being Spirit led that I heard from R.T. Kendall, they are as follows (based on the acronym PEACE):

• Providential - Does the door open, or do I have to knock it down?
• Enemy - What does the enemy say or want me to do?  Would the enemy encourage me to do something like that? 
• Authority - Is is biblical?  Is there anything in the Bible against it?
• Confidence - Does my confidence increase or diminish at the thought of doing this?
• Ease - Do I have peace about it?  What do I feel in my heart of hearts?