Ok... Mold a piece of playdough into how I'm feeling. Well, I guess you're going to have to do some speaking Holy Spirit, because I don't know what I'm---
An image of a valley comes to mind. As I start to mold my playdough into a pancake-like shape, I reflect on how I've felt like I'm traveling through a valley right now in my life. But this valley is no cake walk - instead it has crops of big boulders every so often.
As I add blockades of boulders to the playdough valley, I think about the challenging rocky situations I've had to traverse in the past year. Granted, there is usually a place of peace between the challenges that I am very thankful for.
However, there always seems to be another set of obstacles ahead. They feel unending, and more than once I have wanted to give up. Climbing up and over them is tiring and requires a strength and determination that I honestly don't have the desire to summon up.
But thankfully this valley also has a river running alongside it - the river from Psalm 23, that the Good Shepherd leads me beside to restore my soul. There are also a few mountains next to it, places where I have stood high and looked around, and been in awe of the glorious creation God allows me to live in.
I have a little bit of playdough left over and I use it to fashion a little house that I set aside from my valley creation. It shows the pull of comfort and home that can grow quite strong from time to time. Sometimes as I journey, I look over at it longingly, considering whether it is a viable option
My little ball of playdough didn't really do justice in capturing all of that, if you can imagine ;). But this image below kind of reflects what was in my mind. (Wikipedia tells me that it is Satluj Valley in India.)
That is how I entered the women's retreat, feeling worn down and not sure how much longer I can keep on getting through the challenges. I want to be found steadfast, but it is so hard.
However, something changed throughout the retreat. It didn't come through an inspiring speaker or message, as the majority of our time was spent quietly and individually reading and reflecting on the story of Elijah from 1 Kings 17 & 18. Nevertheless, my perspective shifted drastically.
I began to see that the journey wasn't so much about the obstacles, but rather about the tools I could be picking up along the way. Tools that were there all along, but I've just been trudging past so far. Tools that could help me make it over the rocks and boulders with greater ease.
And those times of peace didn't just have to be a breather, but it could be time when I rest in the Lord and draw nearer to him. Times when I am fed by him in the way He has been wanting to nourish me, but I've been distracted by things this world tells me will give me rest, when I know they don't.
There are things I can be doing to exercise my gifts and make them stronger before the next challenge comes along. And once I begin to do this, I think I might even gain strength from the obstacles rather than be worn down by them.
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| My playdough valley, for those who were curious :) |
Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.
And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.
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